- Posted by jdavis on June 10, 2011
by Richard Parenti
Ever wonder what forgiveness really means, and what is the practical application of forgiveness, the “how to” part—the missing link?
In my search for the meaning of forgiveness and in discovering how to forgive here is what I have found.1
Forgiveness begins with a willingness to grow and change. The key word is willingness.
I remember this lesson well. In 1974 when I was two days clean and sober, falling of the chair in an AA meeting and telling myself, “God, whatever it takes, I’m willing to be sober and if I’m not willing, then I’m willing to be willing, just make this Goddamn chair stop moving.” Based on personal experience I can verify “willingness” is the operative word for my success of still being clean and sober.
When I became willing to eliminate my being judgmental, condemning people’s lifestyles, events, political systems, religions and ideas as right or wrong I came to realize that I had a chance to put into practice the art and science of forgiveness that I had discovered.
With my new found clarity I have come to understand that forgiveness means being nonjudgmental, compassionate and grateful.
Nonjudgmental means being willing to quit editorializing on all that you perceive that does not fit into your belief system and accept life, events, things, people and yourself as is.
Compassion means being willing to recognize to see all things, events, and people, including yourself as innocent.
Gratitude is simply a feeling of thankfulness, no matter what is going on in your life.
Take a moment and ponder over this: People world-wide are born with the same hardware as you, a pure innocent mind. An innocent mind that believed what it was told, which was based on much of the same kind of information you and I received when we were growing up.
Everyone grows up in a certain time-period, in a certain country and on the way collected data that created their software program that programmed their mind. That data came from their parents, their culture, their peer group, the movies they watched, the TV programs they watched, the music they listened to, schools they went to, the type of education they got, how far they went in school, their teachers, their friends, the conditions in which they were raised, their religion, their job, their bosses, etc. This is what creates the software program that has covered over the pure innocent mind that we all are.
When you or I judge another, we are judging their software by our software and as harsh as we are on them is as harsh as we are on our self.
Their original hardware, an original pure innocent mind, is just as innocent today as yours and mine. Only the software that has been accumulated has covered up the hardware in all of us regardless of where we live or come from with most of this software coming at an early age from which we have no recollection. But we are now living and acting out a life that has been programmed into us from our past.
My understanding of being nonjudgmental, compassionate and grateful, the gate keepers of forgiveness, is being willing to recognize and see all things, events, and people, including myself as sacred, innocent and pure; and that software judging software is nothing more than ego judging ego—insanity judging insanity.
I reasoned that every hostile thought about another leaves a residue of a negative emotion in us and by the very nature of unexpressed negative energy it is stored within and at a later date manifests into an illness in the body or the mind.
From my understanding of being nonjudgmental, compassionate and grateful I believe springs forth the ability to forgive yourself and others. And it sets the groundwork for us to release and remove all unconscious guilt from us and begins the process of healing from within.
Guilt, I believe, is nothing more than your programming from childhood of feeling you’ve done something wrong and you’re going to be punished for what you did by someone like your husband, your boss, your wife, your parents, your teacher, your peer group, and if that isn’t enough then God will punish you.
Can it be this simple that the cornerstone of forgiveness, the catalyst for healing is being non-judgmental, compassionate and grateful? And all it takes is a simple willingness to grow and change.
Understanding the reality of software judging software and being willing to give up the game of judging, condemning and in being critical of others is at the core of forgiveness.
There are two techniques of forgiveness that I have learned that will aid you in the elimination of unconscious guilt as you are in the process of integrating your understanding of compassion, gratitude and in being non judgmental in your mind .2
…Technique #1: When blaming criticizing, condemning or judging your self you can use the following:
“I am an Infinite Being,
This body is only an image,
It has nothing to do with who & what I am,
All is forgiven and released”
…Technique #2: When blaming criticizing, condemning or judging others you can use the following:
“_________(name of person) are an Infinite Being,
Pure, Positive Energy,
Whole and innocence,
All is forgiven and released”
You may find the following visual very supportive of your resolve for forgiving another:
“See the person you are judging, criticizing, blaming or condemning. Find a small light within them. See that light grow until it fills & covers them completely. Hold this vision for a few seconds then focus on a friend who loves you & who you love. See this light flowing from the person you are condemning to your friend until they are completely filled with the light then see your friend and the person you are condemning or judging flowing love to one another. Then see this light flowing from the person you are condemning to you until you are filled with this light & feel your friend and this person blessing you.”3
Use the visual along with your resolve twice daily, ten to fifteen minutes each time, until you begin to feel the impact of the process working.
Remember whenever you forgive another you automatically forgive yourself and when you judge another it leaves a stored residue of a negative emotion in you that can turn into bitterness or a sickness.
1. ”Illness and Self Healing” by David R. Hawkins, M.D., PhD.
2. “Your Immortal Reality” by Gary R. Renard
3. “Course of Miracles, Lesson 121”